We are all here to serve one another

We are all here to serve one another

At first when I heard the above statement the only thing I could think of was slavery, I was offended by the remarks, it just didn’t sound nor feel right for a human being to say such statements. I gave it too much thought though because I really wanted to understand the context of it, even now as write this I am not sure if I got to the very roots of the statement but at least it makes to me sense.

We are all born to serve one another, be it our needs or empowering each other. I like to think of it as giving back, in my country South Africa we call it “Ubuntu” which means humanity. It is more like person is built by people, serving each other is a way of life, I don’t necessarily mean we have to literally clean, cook or work for each other but to just build each other with words of encouragement or by helping the needy and everything that brings out the greatness of people for the people.

I for one believe that we are capable of serving or helping each other, I have seen this happen during natural disasters and it doesn’t have to take a hurricane, earthquake or any other disaster for human beings to be a human but it has to be a way of life….. 

To You

“To you who’s had/having a rough week. To you who seems to be under constant storm clouds. To you who feels invisible. To you who don’t know how much longer you can hold on. To you who lost faith. To you who always blame yourself for everything that goes wrong. To you, you are incredible. You make this world a little bit more wonderful. You have so much potential and so many things left to do. You have time. Better things are coming your way, so please hang in there you can do it.”

-Jodi Ann Bickley  

These words always relieve me when things get heavy in this life journey, I hope they do the same for you too

You can’t be a King/Queen with an emotional tolerance of a baby!

My title to me explains a lot and changes how I view and react to things that are somewhat unpleasant. The reality is that we are all dealing with different situations and circumstances, all I can do is tell my story in the hopes that it will make a difference somewhere in somebody’s life. A lot of my previous posts were about acceptance and personal development, things that I am always looking to reinforce and adopt as part of my life. 

In the past few months, I have realized that the more I become better at what I do, stronger and more accepting of situations around me, things do not necessarily get better and it gets frustrating at some point. At first, I would try to fight it and worry about how things are not getting better, ask questions like “why is this happening to me?” and have all kinds of pessimistic thoughts about my future until I finally figured it out.

“you can never be great if you are not willing to go through it, and view survival/success as the only options you have!”. This took me back to emotional intelligence and how we sometimes let our emotions rule us and how we view the world. Your problems don’t stay behind as you grow, they come along and grow with you, you can fight it all you want but that’s just how it is. Some problems you out grow but the space will always be filled up by something else and you need to stay ready and know that it’s to be expected. It’s also part of acceptance!

The best you could do is create an ideal situation for yourself and dedicate yourself to it, that’s what I do. I visualize my future and how I want it to be and dedicate myself to reaching that point in life, by doing this I can also consider the possible hurdles I could encounter, and think about possible ways of overcoming them even before they happen. It’s more like a preparation thing where I orientate myself to the future I would like to have, while also acknowledging that nothing is ever easy and I will have to go through situations/circumstances before I get there, and even when I get there they’ll still be something I am dealing with so it’s not even about trying to escape from anything.

My final word to anyone reading this is that “realize your potential, and know that not everything has to disturb you and your focus in achieving all that you want. You are a King/Queen and you have the power to change your life!”.

Choose happiness

The choice we make, contributes to the biggest part of who we are it doesn’t matter if they are good or bad but the fact is we are the once who are responsible of our future.

Be your own chauffeur and steer your future to a place where you will live happily ever after and bare in mind that to live a happy life doesn’t always mean you have to have a lot of money in the bank you can be happy with a bank account that doesn’t have seven figures. Happiness is a choice and it is a lifestyle it doesn’t always have to be materialistic.

There are many people in this world who wake up with a choice of being happy in their life but when you look into how they are living you would questions their happiness.

Growing up I was taught that joys comes from within I remember clearly my teacher used to compare it with a chicken egg and he would go on and say that if chicken egg was to be from the outside we would have same all eggs we eat for breakfast but if it would hatch from the inside out we will witness life. What he meant was that the joy/happiness we seek outside is toxic to us because it comes and it goes but the happiness that comes from inside its eternal and it needs no influence it just happen.

 That is the way of life 

Finding Courage

It’s been quite a while since my last post that is mainly because I have a lot in my plate lately and finding the time to write has been quite difficult.

Embracing positive change doesn’t only mean we have to post once after a while but it’s a lifestyle we try by all means to live it and put it in our everyday life and I can say that life itself is discouraging, we all want to grow up but when we do, we realize that its not as easy as  we thought and that leads to a number of us being greatly discouraged.

 When I was young I remember I was field with big ideas, I was energetic, looking forward to living and exploring life itself everything felt possible, now that I’m older I realize that the idea I had about life was not what life is and that is  be discouraging, I thought that I can be anything but now I know that there are places I can’t reach because of the limited resources and I also know that there are places that these limited resources can help me reach but some people don’t see that that’s why most of them are discouraged by their reality and I can say that cause it took me a while for me to realize that too.

And with this being said no amount of motivation can help people who feel they are suffering in the hands of their reality, they are the only one who can help themselves.

It takes a lot of courage for a discouraged person to stand

    

It has Been a While

it’s been a long time since my last post, and a lot has happened between now and then. I’ve both encountered and grown from every experienced instance, and there’s always a story to tell about every situation. I’m currently doing my final year for my undergraduate degree, and although I still have a long way to go before I can call myself an Industrial psychologist I am highly grateful for the place I’m at today. I’ve gotten used to the culture of working hard for all that you want so I’m not even going to talk about the work load or even any other academic challenge because I spent sleepless nights to ensure that I also get to where I want to see myself in future.

opportunity also came and changed my life through a part time job which is wonderful because I can now start assisting myself and save up for next year as I’ll be looking to get a formal job while I complete my postgraduate studies part time. it’s a wonderful experience and I get to also teach myself the skills needed to work effectively with others and relate some of the things I study with real-life work situations, it’s the part I enjoy the most about the experience.

there are always the things that resist change, that insist on giving you the same feeling repeatedly irrespective of any situational change. things that if looked at closely can end up with a deep ache or a place that is best forgotten. Over time we learn to manage, to cope and survive the effects leading some sense of freedom from the clutches of our strongholds. this is something I have mastered, and it has completely altered my emotional responses to things, circumstances and situations.

I am not afraid anymore, I have faith, and hope drives me to work towards achieving my greatest desires. 

You were Chosen, Not the other way Around!

 These past few months have made me realize that trying to fight or even run away from the true reality of you life is just a futile efforts, because every solution is mostly temporary and it all comes down to your waking up to the same reality the next day. 

I had a conversation with my aunt the other day and she said something that made sense of everything that seems to be happening in our individual lives, she said "had I not suffered so much in my past, my future would have never been this bright". After hearing this i suddenly felt like things are not as bad as I thought they are because like her, I too get to face various challenges that sometimes get too overwhelming and its just feels like the more I try to free myself, the more tangled things become.

But the lesson here was that even though things are not as you would like them to be now, know and realize that all the hardships and challenges are building you for something greater ahead of you, something you might not even know yet. I always tell myself to appreciate all the lessons and experiences I gain from all my struggles and everything I go through because it is a part of my growth and with that growth comes actualization. 

In order to know your true potential you have to be pushed, and the truth is that in life we are pushed by circumstances and problems, which means that instead of always assuming negativity from every situation we can assume light and actually push through with the knowledge that this is just preparation. 

Nothing can break a positive spirit about life and all that comes with it, and the stronger you become as a person, the stronger your challenges become and for as long as that is happening it means you are not there yet. Refuse with your faith and hope as these two things are what carries us through our darkest days, love and appreciate yourself and all the efforts your making to better your life because that is proof of how capable and extraordinary you are.

Progress is important and no matter how significant it is, know that it will still remain progress at the end of the day. Do not look over to the next person and what they are doing, only do so to learn or better yourself but even with that always stay true to yourself and relieve yourself of unnecessary pressure because you know your life and where you want it to go. If there's somethings or someone who fails to see your intentions and efforts, cut it and take care of your own interests because that would be a clear indication that they are not taken care of!

If we could choose the lives we want to live, no one would be struggling but we can't because it is through struggles where greatness is realized and with that being said, know that you were chosen for a reason to go through all that your dealing with, so that you can make it and become living proof to all those that follow you, proof that its possible through resilience and endurance!

We are all going to make IT, We just have to Believe!!

What do you want

What is that when you have you will feel at easy? Everybody is looking but the real question is what are we looking for ? 

We tend to put our trust, happiness and confidence on material things that can easily disappear in thin air. 

Are they the answer to this everyday question that makes each an everyone kick the blankets ?

I have been waking up for at least over two decades of my life and I feel there's more to life than material things, like there's a much more greater purpose that is there but like most people on this earth I can't seem to know how this purpose can be explored or experienced. While it is normal to find happiness on material things I seem to feel less happy with material things in my possession.

Master your thoughts

Thoughts play a huge role on how we perceive our reality, they are the building blocks of how we react or deal with situations or circumstances in our lives. Thoughts have great power and influence on our lives and that becomes evident the moment you start walking down the negativity road, when things are good our minds automatically get filled with positivism and life just goes by without us even realizing it, but the real power of thought becomes visible when things go south, when life darkens and you just don't understand how to even begin comprehending your situation, that's when you will experience or realize the effects of thoughts.

Honestly the past few days have been draining for me, I've had to deal with loss, my grandmother being sick, my little sister and her pregnancy, worry about my grandfather and hold down my academics too which is really overwhelming at this point. Toady I woke up down really, with a pessimistic mind set but like wise I just ignored it and got things done, but right now I'm realizing that the reason I woke up feeling that way is because of my thoughts, I allowed my thinking to get out of control to a point where I'm constantly thinking about everything negative in my life, It happens automatically when I slow down and just try to relax, which now becoming a problem because its depriving me of rest and peace. Its like I'm stressed but cannot even identify whats stressing me.

I then went through my posts and I realized that I have written about this condition before and in order for me to break the cycle of negativity I need to change the way I think about all the things happening in my life, because as much as I would like to protect my self or see things well, most of the things I worry about are beyond me and there's really nothing I can do about them. I need to just acknowledge that things are not fully Okay right now but I'm okay, I'm still living and because of that there's still hope. I just have to stop drowning myself in negative though and take charge of my own mind and teach myself my own principles of positivism, I have done it before and I have come too far along to allow temporary emotions and circumstances take me 10 steps back.

Its understandable that at some point we all get overwhelmed and just want to give up but the though of giving up on myself has never excited me at all and its something I will never be prepared to do. I have a vision and goals I would like to see myself live out and that is exactly what i should allow my mind to constantly think about, things that productively contribute to my personal growth and well being. Its never easy but its absolutely worth it and from now on I'll be working to regain control of the thoughts that lurk in my mind.

Master Your Thoughts because the kind of thoughts you allow to dominate in your mind determine the life you live in reality.

Working Through Failure

We all fail at some point in our lives but that doesn't mean that we are failures, but it means that we have the opportunity to try again and not do the same mistake we did in our first attempt.

There's a saying that says "It doesn't matter how many times you fall, but what matters is how many times you stood up after the fall", sometimes the fall might be too had that you feel like you don't have the energy or motivation to stand up one more time but that is not the reason for not trying again.

Every time I encountered failure in my life i used to go back to my comfort zone and I would feel sorry for myself, even cry myself to sleep and I would say to myself "I'm never going to try again".

You see i never realized how close I was to my destination, I didn't have the courage to face my failures, but eventually I stood up and made it a point that I won't allow failure to defy me.

Don't be like the old me, walk and walk through failure with great confidence and know that every set back is setup for success..

Be someone else's Miracle

Have you ever been so overwhelmed that you find yourself just lying there and thinking about how you cannot keep up anymore? , this is something that many of us experience at some point and when it happens we often find ourselves deep within our feeling because we’ve run out of the ability to deal with our situations/circumstances, and feel like only a miracle can save us at that point.

One thing I’ve learnt from this kind of experience is that when you reach that point, where you feel like everything is falling apart and you need miracle to save you, that’s when you need to look to others and see how they are doing in life. Sometimes in order to discover that missing puzzle in your life you need to go out and help someone else solve their puzzle. Yes you might argue that when your busy helping another person your own things will be held back and no progress will be made, but what I’m saying is that be a miracle in somebody else’s life in order to put yourself in a position to receive a miracle yourself.

That selfless act, that occurs out of genuine emotion will help align your thing too, it will help give you direction and new experience that will be able to help you deal with your own troubles. Sometimes we get consumed by our problems and oriented our lives around them, which is not good because it means your living for your problems instead of solving them. Being a miracle yourself will give you much needed positive energy especially if your overwhelmed with the negativity in your life, it will allow you to see things differently an realize that even with those problems there’s still more to life and that no problem is indestructible.

And sometimes the very same person you helped will be the miracle you’ve been waiting for, they will help you achieve you goals through whatever effort needed and everyone will be able to regain the peace/joy/happiness they deserve.

Remember that you are never alone and there are a lot ways you can try out to change your situation/circumstances,  fulfillment does not only come from being able to succeed on your own and making it, sometimes being that helping hand can open doors in your life that you never knew existed.

Also remember that being someone else’s miracle puts you in a position to receive miracles yourself, so this is your time now!.

Let’s continue to Embrace Positive Change

by K.C Molefe

Life's hardships shouldn't steal your happiness

How do you process disappointment ??, you may be disappointed in yourself, your parents, your friend or even your favourite team. Do you respond with anger or do you resort to violent acts (vandalism)?.
How many times have you responded with positive attitude towards negative situations ?. How positive are you when you are facing with negative situation ?.
Has the the level of your positivity been taken to the test and how did you feel after that ?.
I myself have been in a number of negative situations and some I was able to make it through with positive attitude but some I found myself doubting if I would make it through, I even thought of giving up but still I pressed on, it was that time when I realised my weaknesses.
You know you can be positive by just thinking or talking about how you plan on doing something and become less positive when you start doing what you planned ?.
What you need is a daily routine were you teach yourself how to be positive.
But first you must be confident and be happy, don't let material things determine your happiness.

I'm Blessed because of all the Pain I have been through!

I have been put down in life, by my family, friends and my circumstances and the sad part is that it always seemed like the things I turn to for hope are the ones that got to me the most. thinking about the number of times I've thought of quitting alone shows me that I've been through a lot, how those experiences used to make me sit there in my little corner and wonder why I have to be the one dealing with all this negativity in life because just like everyone all all I wanted is to be happy and not have to worry about everything all the time.

It got to a point where I accepted pain in my life, Pain was the only thing I knew and for me it wasn't temporary like they always say. it became a part of my everyday life, it was what I constantly expected from people and I did not believe in genuine happiness because for me everything always seemed to have the same ending. I was young and needed something to hang onto and Pain was there for me and that was how I lived my life for a very long time, I used it to define my situations and fuel things such as contemplating suicide because with pain it all made sense to me and I did not believe that there could be another way around my situation.

but there was and the only way I realized that was through the inability to give up on myself, some part of me always believed in a better place somewhere beyond the life I lived back then. I knew that I was not going to remain young and little forever and that some day I will reach that door and be set free so that I too can be able to experience genuine Joy in spite of everything else. And for me that is the blessing I received from pain.

I was tested and trialed over the years through pain but I never broke, A blessing of being able to endure, having hope even when all lights were off, believing in yourself even when everybody was looking away, of being your very own little power house and always doing what you can to survive because some part of you always believed in the greater purpose of being in this world. I am blessed for being able to deal with pain without letting it consume and defeat me because indeed it is temporary and you have the power to control how it affects you.

I do not know what your dealing with right now or what you've been through but what I know is that every negative situation is a blessing in disguise, and even though it might not be feeling that way right now but if you choose perseverance and resilience there will come a time where you get to celebrate because of all the hardships you've dealt with. 

BECAUSE OF THAT HEARTACHE YOU ARE BLESSED, YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE FAITH AND BELIEVE IN YOUR OWN PROSPERITY. 

The Beauty Of Love....

Love is a beautiful feeling once it's there it gets rid of jealousy, uncertainties and fear.

When you love someone you can't see their flaws nor their weaknesses. 

They say love is blind, yes it is blind, blind to negativity and everything that is not positive.

Love is positive, it gives one hope and confidence about the future.

Love doesn't have a motive, it doesn't judge, it is harmless.

Love covers all wrongs.

Its not love anymore if your not happy!

Have you ever had to walk away from someone you genuinely love because your just not happy anymore? Well I did and it's tearing me apart.

I'm not hurting because I left, giving up on the hope and faith that I had in our relationship is what is really proving to be a challenge because I feel like I have to travel into the future and erase all the hopes and dreams I had for us, the belief that I had of us staying together forever and just coming to terms with the fact that it's just not happening anymore. Everything is just different now and I'm not really sure if I was ever ready for it! 

But I didn't leave because I wanted to, I just realized that it's no use loosing more of myself to a situation I'm no longer getting any serious satisfaction from, happiness is temporary and is often clouded by everything else that is happening between us. Loosing more of my self to a situation that constantly makes me feel like a liability or inconvenience.  

I just think that sometimes we just need to learn to be able to love the people we love from afar, where they are no longer influencing our lives and just be there until we've let go enough to properly move on.

The love I have for myself will sustain me through all this because I definitely know that I can absolutely do better and nothing is ever really worth it if it doesn't bring Joy to my life. 

Change is not easy, but it can definitely free you!!! 

Never Stop Winning

The moment you begin to tell yourself that you won is the very same moment you begin to lose. 

In life win doesn't have a past tense is either you keep winning or you lose that's all. 

Winners don't stop winning thats why we see even the richest people striving to be even more richer. 

Is it selfish behaviour to want more even if you have more ?,  Well I say that question depends on who is asking it, the person saying this might be a winner who feels that they achieved too much now they want  to rest or the person saying this might be a bitter person who has given up and not even trying to win, now they say it because they want to be justified for losing and being negative.

I say its selfish when a person who has been winning, taking the opportunity for the ones who just started winning.

None the less keep winning and approach each challenge with positive attitude, that will guarantee you a win

...

If you Don't like the road your on now, why not start paving a new one?

Have you ever felt like your life has turned into a cycle of continuous similar events? do you feel like you can predict the outcome of each and every situation you find yourself in?our lives are not meant to feel like a system and should never follow a particular pattern. If the road your on keeps taking you to the same destination over and over again then its not for you anymore, you need to get off it!

Sometimes we refuse to give up our old ways because we feel like we've made progress and starting form the begging would just be a waste of invested time, but you should never be afraid to break a chain of things that don't work for you anymore in order to see the positive change that you seek in your life.. Change is difficult for everyone, but it is necessary if we want to see development.

Before I started studying industrial psychology I was in a different institution, doing a different course and after only 6 months I realized that the road I was on was not taking me to the destination I wanted to see myself at in the future so I decided to quit. That came with a few consequences though, I had to pay for those months I attended, Had to go and stay home for another 6 months because there was nothing i could do at that time and It was difficult. I was depressed for sometime but eventually I came out of it and started doing some community work just to move time.

I am still thanking myself for making that drastic decision that didn't make sense to a lot of people , where everyone thought I had failed and was unable to do anything productive with my life. I paved a new road for myself, a road that allows me to shine and be the person that \I want to be, a road that takes me wherever I want to go and for that I am very grateful.

Now its your turn, what are you going to do? for the greater good of yourself! Believe in yourself and have faith in every decision that you make because only you understands the true desires of your heart. Yes you will feel judged or defeated but remember that all those things are temporary and that only you can define yourself!

Life has never been easy on us, I started this blog with a purpose to share my experiences in a way that will uplift, inspire and motivate all those that are feeling down because I know how it feels like. Together we will Embrace positive change and prosper in life. 

YOU ARE NEVER ALONE!!!

Challenges of life

We all have challenges we have to continuously deal with in life, this is a life fact that no one can escape. Some are temporary and some seem to just be growing with time, and at times all these challenges become overwhelming and you feel like you don’t have it in you anymore to deal with them, That is how I feel right now!

So I took my book of life “Battle Field of the Mind” and continued reading where I left off previously and it is amazing how I was able to be salvaged from my emotional downfall. But because I know that we often share problems as humans I decided to write this post as a way of helping others as I have been helped too.

The first thing you need to understand is that you are not alone, there’s always someone who understands out there and if you’re a believer there’s always God to turn to. Yes sometimes you might be discouraged by your inability to deal with your life challenges but there’s always light beyond every challenge, you just have to allow yourself to see it.

The first thing you have to be able to do is to control the way you think, assess the state of your mind and the kinds of thoughts that dwell in it. A mind that is stable and free of strong holds will be your greatest weapon against anything you might encounter in life. A mind that allows you to continuously think positively in spite of how things are going in your life. A mind filled with hope and faith in the greater good it knows and believes in.

Negative thoughts bring no peace to your mind and life; you’re doing no one a favour by sitting there and thinking about how you’re failing in life and all the things that keep going wrong . Why not acknowledge the fact that yes things are not going my way but I know that life gets better and no challenge can define me as a person. You wouldn’t be dealing with it if you weren’t capable of getting over it, there’s strength in all of us and with it we can all prosper!

Positive change starts in the mind and later translates to your life; we are products of our own thoughts so the next time a negative thought comes your way remember that. Let’s all keep striving for better situations in life because they are achievable and eventually we’ll all break free and SHINE!

Stop Wishing. Start Doing....

Wishing for something is same as living in a dream, I'm sorry to come out strong like that but its true, all my life I have never seen anyone of my wishes come to reality, I was concerned until I realised that wise people make a wish and then go after it. They don't wait on the sidelines and hope that something will happen, they make things happen. They knock on every door and it doesn't matter how many times they get shut out. Don't allow fear to hold you down, so stop fantasizing and get in the race to chase that one thing you have been wishing for..

Focus Is Vital

Nothing really becomes dynamic if it's not first specific, no greater destiny can emerge without focus. Focus is the ability to look unwaveringly at your purpose and assignment without destructions sometimes people are involved in so many project's and all of them fail because they lack the required focus.