Personality Conflict

Personality Conflict

 Recently I have been experiencing difficulties when it comes to my personality and the people in my life. Yes I have admitted that I’m not exactly the nicest person you can meet but I’m not the worst either and I can justify why.

I’ve always believed that the only way to survive in this world is to stop complaining and adapt. There are a lot of things that a lot of people do not understand about me, even my family. When you are made feel like you’re less than good enough or you are just not worth the space you fill up you tend to develop anger towards everything or everyone and end up secluding yourself from the world. You believe that life is better when you’re alone because you cannot judge yourself, torment and always be reminded how weak you are.

I never complained about anything when I was growing up, I would always find a way or do whatever it took to deal with the situation and move on as quickly as possible. I developed defences, mental shields and emotional limits which I always resorted to each time I was having a problem of any kind. They all contributed to the person I am today.

The only problem now is that all these traits work effectively when I’m alone and don’t socialize much because they were designed to not easily let people into my life, block out whatever negative comment the had to say about me and keep me going no matter what. Now that I’m in university and I have friends and people I have to do my school work with it often becomes a problem.

I want to participate in group activities and have a great time with my friends like any other student on campus but the issue is that everyone sees me as this rude person who’s a control freak and is not willing to give anyone an opportunity because they have strong opinions about everything.

I’ve tried to adjust to my new social circumstances but it just seems to never be enough, One thing I’m not prepared to do is to alter my entire personality in other to please others and it seems like that’s what everyone expects me to do which is impossible.

I feel a bit lost right now, I want different opinions and ideas concerning the matter. Hope I’m not the only one experiencing this problem.